Recently, I had the privilege of helping Katherine Wintsch during a book signing event in Springfield, VA. She is a lovely person that I am thrilled to have met. Her message is enlightening and empowering.
I was intrigued when I learned we had something in common. Different circumstances but when life knocked us down we went on a 2 year (I’m starting to think mine is perpetual) self-help journey. I read so many self help books -Iyana VanZant became my superhero, this devout Catholic girl joined my Baptist friends bible study groups, I went to the gym at 5am everyday, and basically did anything I could do to understand what I couldn’t define about myself. I truly learned so much about me on that journey.
When I read the “This book is for you if: questions I didn’t think this book was for me….then….
She asked the audience to name the last negative thing we had said to ourselves. I thought, nothing, I am so positive I don’t talk negative to myself, and then…..I realized, I actually had and didn’t even realize it. Just two days prior I didn’t do 100% thorough fact check on something and turns out despite all of the research I did do, it was incorrect. Driving home I was doing the negative talk ~ you know better, you should have continued researching until 100% sure, etc. Then she told us to say it out loud to the person sitting next to us. Oh wow, that felt icky.
The chapter titled “You Just Can’t Say No” spoke to me. It’s true, as women, as mothers, as wives, as friends we tend to say yes to too much (or I know I do). Not because I am a people pleaser but because I am passionate about the idea, project or task and I sincerely want to do it. However, through a couple sources (Chic Influencer Community and Leading at the Speed of Trust Workshop) I am realizing that I need to be laser focused on my goals and if the idea, project or task doesn’t take me closer to my goals I shalt not do it.
The last sentence on page 162 hit a home run with me. That is my Dragon ~ “I want you to want me”. I sometimes say my gift is problem solving ~ because I am so darn good at it. I have the innovative & creative mind, lean six sigma tools, project management background and 30+years of knowledge to solve most challenges presented in any given day. When I do this I feel the most useful. Useful I am, but my Dragon is the “validation”, that I crave. I know I am great at what I do, but when others say it, the validation comes. I am looking forward to finishing the book and Slaying My Dragon!
“WHEN YOU GIVE AWAY YOUR FREE TIME, YOU BELIEVE OTHERS DESERVE IT MORE THAN YOU.”